I worried that when I walked away from Great Run that opportunities to promote physical activity to large audiences would diminish. Great Run was one of my greatest experiences, but it was also my biggest disappointment. I should have moved on, by now, but my name still appears on their pages and I still regret the unfortunate (but ultimately unavoidable ) ending of our partnership.
I worried that as my waistband increased, my message would be perceived as hypocritical and the irony of a now obese again man warning of the dangers of obesity was not lost on me. I have championed the idea of being Fat and Fit, but how can I inspire others, when I have recently been unable to motivate myself and I feel that I’ve been stuck down in a hole.
I worried that my increasing knee pain would limit my ability to keep active and would prevent me from continuing my fun life as a try athlete and Jack of all trades. It seems that I have finally answered my question of How Many Miles?
I worried that giving up on friendships and things that I cherished would force me back into the shadows and enable Stephen the Recluse to re – emerge. I haven’t seen some friends in months and I am again using excuses to avoid meet-ups.
I worried that I was losing the respect of my boys and that I embarrassed them. Other dads were fitter (and younger) than me and I am again adding layers (in summer) to try and hide my waistline.
I really do worry too much and this week has reinvigorated me.
Maybe it was the lovely gift from Lululemon or The Boss reminding me that we are born to run or Ali Clarkson showing me his magic moves on a bike, but as I type this I am dancing in the dark (the light bulb just blew) and I know my glory days will return. I have spent too long in the badlands.
Yesterday, myself, Paula McGuire and Colin Thomas recorded some great material for CamGlen Radio and thanks to Paula, I am having fun again as a try athlete. We are not as polished as other broadcasters (well, I am not), but we are putting out some entertaining (I think) and educational (I bloody hope do) broadcasts with wonderful guest interviews. Colin was simply wonderful and will be joining us for at least the next month as we talk about running. It’s not quite racing in the street, but for an injured runner, it is reminding me why I love running.
Today, the boys and I are starring in an advert together, as an active family for Vitality. We are also being featured in a Father’s Day story on active dads and my boys are again talking about taking up sports and planning days out with me. Those two hearts are what really inspires me to be a local hero.
And then, next week, I start my new role as the Communications Officer for the Civil Service Sports Council in Scotland and I discover what the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons have in store for me, as I step into a new role promoting the #FeetforLife campaign.
Pictures were the catalyst for my initial weight loss and the picture with Colin, at the top of this post, has become my new “Before” picture. I could argue that it is an unflattering picture (a brilliant disguise?) that portrays my weight worse than it is, but instead, I recognise that my efforts of late have been half – hearted.
Regaining almost 30% of my lost weight (the price you pay for eating junk) and stopping running isn’t the end of me. It merely signals another new chapter and a new opportunity to address my behaviours (and my dodgy feet) for good.
I can do it. I am tougher than the rest. It’s a month until the 4th of July and this depression will be replaced by a much more positive attitude.
I’m on fire this week and I have been cycling to and from work every day and I am making healthier food choices. I am feeling much happier and more confident. I have a wonderful family and many great opportunities that make me happy.
I have high hopes that better days lie ahead.
I just have to be more consistent. I have to stop worrying.
(And I really have to stop slipping in Bruce Springsteen song titles -how many did you find? )