I ran most days, was doing hundreds of weighted squats and kettlebell swings and ate more cleanly than I have in a long time. I had great support and a clear plan. After a week the results on the scale were an impressive 10lbs lost. It’s amazing the results you can achieve in a short period with the right approach and the right people. However, I didn’t apply the right approach and felt the effects in other ways that I should have expected; that I should have prevented and that I should have not let happen. But hey, it isn’t the first time my unhealthy obsession has cost me and I’m sure I’m not alone.
Two many people commented that I looked awful. I looked fatigued and had lost my sparkle. Pilates was awful with cramps and tiredness affecting my routine. I was drained and struggling to continue. And not just with Pilates. My running was becoming sluggish and I was stalling. If I’m honest, I’ll admit I wasn’t eating enough. I practise Intermittent Fasting (and have done for past two years) and didn’t follow the prescribed nutritional plan that had been carefully laid out for me. As always, I was rushing to maximise results and ended up losing my focus. Intermittent Fasting is a flexible approach to weight loss, but it is also a scientific one. I had lost sight of that. Just like so many that have recently altered it’s principle’s to make it easier to follow, for some.
So, it came as no surprise when I stumbled and fell. Not for the first time, in the past year, but hopefully for the last time. I need to remember that eating clean and being regularly active is a full time gig. It’s not something I can do intermittently and not something that I should be doing to get fast results. It’s lunacy to do something repeatedly that doesn’t work and my “week on, week off” approach was’t working. Not that this was my intention. I just went so hard in week one that invariably in week two, I would struggle to sustain.
A wee weekend surprise trip to Amsterdam (thanks to my amazing girlfriend) has helped recharge my batteries ( I even managed a sub zero temperature run along the canals) but I have to find a way to deal with an issue that just won’t go away.
I have an eating problem. I eat when happy, I eat when sad. I ate when I am bored. Too often my eating is a response to an emotional trigger. Despite my success, despite my posts and my experiences, there are times when my subconscious takes over and despite hating myself and telling myself that I will resist, I am drawn towards the confectionery area of the shops, where I lose control and go on a supermarket sweep. Fasting helps me curtail these binges, but recently it hasn’t been preventing them. I have peaks and lows. When I’m focused, nothing stops me, but lately, I’ve been too easily distracted. Lately I’ve been pushing my self too hard and following that up with putting myself down, too much.
Once again a picture has hopefully kick started my efforts and will launch me in the same direction but with a new mindset and a greater appreciation of my limitations, but also of my strengths.
By knowing what my shortcomings are, I intend to make a plan. Like when I first started, I will be accountable and have set goals and weekly activities. I will also stop kidding myself on and stop projecting the image that nothing phases or bothers me. I am human and I make mistakes. A lot of mistakes, if I’m honest. Trying to run 5K to work, do a day’s work before running 5K home before eating the first meal in 24hrs doesn’t work and only leads me to binging later. So why keep doing it?
Instead I’ll now prepare my meals and fasting days around my training sessions, that I’ll take time to organise. I can still run in the morning, but will probably have a meal prior to the run home and something within 30 mins after. I’ll prioritise my work and focus on completing the features and projects on the horizon that have been putting my time management skills to the test and causing me stress that also usually leads to binge eating (a lethal combination). And I’ll make sure I factor in time for me; time for those I love and time for exercising the mind as well as the heart and muscles. Without a clear mind, a clean diet and exercise routine will invariably fail.
A wee week’s fall from Grace will only derail me, if I allow it. And I won’t allow that! Time to get my butt back on track, and back to a place where I can find , create and participate in amazing challenges. But, more of that later.