“You look amazing, you must be so proud….but surely enough is enough?” is a phrase I’ve heard on many an occasion. Usually from well intentioned colleagues, friends and family who have seen how much I’ve sacrificed, how much pain I’ve suffered and don’t want me going from fat to skinny.
But they don’t realise that I’ve not sacrificed anything I truly needed, that the pain I felt has been replaced by a greater joy and although they may see a huge transformation, I still have fat to lose and won’t be happy until I have reduced my body fat percentage further. I’ve came too far, to simply stop now. And rather than being skinny, I am going to be fit and strong.
They think that when I say no to a drink, or refrain from a dessert that I am depriving myself from enjoying life. Little do they realise that by changing my lifestyle from one which deprived me of good health, I am now enjoying life to the fullest and doing so many amazing things. Things that people openly laughed at when I suggested them last year. Even now, when I announce my goals for next year, those same people still give me incredulous looks.
For many my constant search for the next race, the next level and the next event is a sign that I’ve became obsessed and that I don’t know my limitations. And they are partly right, for I do not know my limitations. Every extra mile, every extra bib and every extra finisher’s medal spurs me on to test my limits and to discover just how many miles I can run.
And I’ve discovered it’s more than that. I NEED to set targets, they have to be stretching, they have to terrify me. Without an event in the upcoming calender I relax, old habits return and inevitably so do the pounds. Part of the reason behind this blog has been to reignite the fire that drives me, to make me remember the lifestyle changes I made and why I made them.
Tomorrow marks 100 days to my 40th Birthday and I vowed that it would be a special year. So I’ve just (and when I say just, I mean I just stopped typing to do it) signed up for my first Marathon. The Edinburgh Marathon in May 2013.
People will say I’m crazy, that I have to take it easy. That it is too far a race. To them I say, only too far is enough!
1 comment
The comments I got from people when I limited my eating and drinking was always “You have so much willpower, I just don’t have it!” I always found that strange. I just couldn’t understand why someone couldn’t find it in themselves to eat ONE cookie instead of 10 when they had a goal in mind. I set my mind to losing weight, I was going to lose it! I didn’t feel deprived, or like I had superpower willpower. It was just a decision!
Great post!