Two years of injury, illness, stress and a lack of focus, consistency or determination has led to this point.
Where I am 262 lbs, unfit, relatively inactive (compared to my previous exploits, that is) and rarely writing for myself.
If I am honest, I’ve been on this path since I crossed the finish line of the Copenhagen Marathon (have I ever mentioned that I ran a marathon?) in 2014.
People had laughed when I first revealed this goal and finally achieving it seemed to end my need to prove the doubters wrong while it also left me in an abyss, chasing new highs, new goals and new opportunities, all without the same passion and relentlessness that had seen me drop 178lbs, run a marathon and gain prestigious, rewarding and award winning roles in health promotion.
For too much of my life, I have sought validation from others. I’ve tried to hide and deny my insecurities and I have been guilty of self sabotage; physically, mentally and even professionally.
The last year has involved a lot (possibly too much) of soul searching and I’ve hosted far too many pity parties.
I’ve had more than my fair share of false starts, so you’ll be excused for viewing this as the start of yet another failing attempt to attain a healthy (for me) weight and mind, but I hope that you’ll share my hope and have faith in me….just one more time.
A good friend, who has achieved some tremendous results following bariatric weight loss surgery has suggested this is a potential answer to my never-ending (since about the age of 10) battle with my weight. While he should be a poster boy for how life changing weigh loss surgery can be and while I am aware of the success rates compared to other approaches, I think one surgery this year is sufficient and more importantly, I want to change my behaviours and beliefs as much as my physique.
I need structure, accountability and a plan, so when award winning personal trainer Paul Jewiss approached me to review his online personal training package, I saw this as a perfect opportunity to start afresh and get back on the right path.
The plan is simple
I am going to lose fat, gain strength, improve my fitness and my mood , and prepare myself for surgery and for life.
The execution is key
With several roles, no time (or love) for the gym , a week in Morocco (apologies for the humble brag) and injuries limiting my ability and my self confidence, I have to be smart.
I have to adapt what I am doing and look at what I can do within the comforts of my home or a hotel room.
And this is where Paul comes in. With a tailored online personal training plan designed around my needs, my home equipment and my current abilities and with some gentle but ever present accountability.
I’ll be following this online personal training plan for 6 weeks, following the workouts, logging my food and reflecting on my emotions and my mood and by the end of it, I hope will have set the foundation for the rest of my life.
I started this blog as a means to chart my triumphs and my disappointments and like my life, it took a different path. I became a self appointed champion of the overweight and obese, a critic of policies and products and a right miserable sod, at times.
So, thank you for sticking around and I hope that over the next six weeks., I can get back to basics and back to writing more regularly, consistently and positively for How Many Miles.
I’ll be sharing what I’m eating (no rate my plate, so don’t worry), what supplements I am taking and why and how I am training and feeling. Already, I feel more positive and more determined (just turned down a curly wurly from wee Jack).
It’s good to be back and I am looking forward to reviewing how online personal training works.